I went through the old photo album.... All those years... why didn't anyone tell me that I looked like such a dumbass..... you bastards! And you people call yourselves my friends.... >=\
Let us start from the beginnings of my dumbassness....
The baby dumbass.
And my mother named me Catalina...... after the tomato-based salad dressing that has an awful after-taste. Thanks Mom! I actually found out last year there is a Mexican porn star named Catalina... so thanks Mom again!! I was a freaky lil' dumbass... I was the whitest baby in my family, at least until my lil cousin Gracie was born 2 years ago. However, my west indian aunts still call me 'Whitey' to this very day.
The cute lil five year old dumbass.
Me at five years old. This photo was taken one year before I had to move to Alabama to live there, so I still look very happy. At this point I was living my grandma and I was eating roti, curry n potatoes everyday. Life was good then. See my big toofy grin. =D
The nine year old doofy lil shit dumbass.
Yeah yeah... go ahead and have a good laugh.... Needless to say I was one of the unfortunates that got picked on.... My god.... what the hell is that horrific thing I am wearing....? Gee, thanks Mom! You can see the other hopeless members of my 4th grade class.... and our awful school, PS 139.. I have to honestly say my elementary school days were the worst moments of my life... Thankfully I had 2 awesome friends =D (Patrice and Sheaniva), but the rest of the kids were complete shithead assholes! I went to an elementary school reunion last year, and much to my surprise (please note the sarcasm) the kids were still assholes... Your heard me you untalented fucktards!!! FUCK YOOOOUU~!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!! >=D ::ahem:: ...moving on.....
The dykey 13 year old dumbass.
Me in junior high. As you can see... I started dressing myself (phew!) Check out my keen fashion sense! I traded in the cutesy skirts and blouses for super wideleg jeans and a baggy-ass t-shirt. =D Behold! The beginnings of my 'dyke-days.' I used to get confused for a boy all the time! Those were the days, huh?
The afroed dumbass.
Me at the age of 15... I still couldnt get over my insecure Jr high days, so I sported the huuge gelled down fro, the camo jacket and the baggy pants 10X my size... Check out the GI Jane status! hehehehe~! My days at A&D were awesome.... and to think I was supposed to go to LaGuardia... I probably would have hated it soo much there with those stuck up beeches. I loove my A&D crew!!!! You guys kick soo much ass!... WOW! Look at the width of my afro, it was a good 2 feet wide lolol! I honour you, my glorious 'fro!!
The dumbass with a dog.
And then I got a dog. Everyone remember Yummy? My cute Maltese puppy dog-monster. I really can't remember life without the lil fucker.... god I luv him soo much... When we first got him he was sooo skinny and sad....If you see him today he's the fattest, happiest, most spoiled dog in the world.
The graduated dumbass.
Freedom from my slave-driving asshole of a teacher! I'm sure everyone remembers Pakter. One of the most notorious teachers in art and design. An excellent teacher with a not-so-nice personality. He was a slave-driver!! He made his students work for weeks straight, a project due every week; all our efforts for a fucking twizzler. He had his moments though; however, they were very few. Ahhh, I remember graduation, a very happy moment! I couldnt wait to get out of A&D, but when I left I did I kinda miss it.... but not too much. (Dont flatter yourselves.. hahahaha! j/k)
The drunken, collgiate dumbass.
My first year in college. Yeah, the first thing I did with my scholarship check was go straighten my hair. Har har har~! I love Japanese people!! They gave me straight hair....!! Anyhoo... My first year of college was great; straight A's, wild non-stop parties, getting drunk, crazy sex, and of course lots and lots of studying. About a 2 weeks into the first semester was the first time I had ever gotten completely smashed from drinking too much, and from there I've never looked back. God, I love college life.
The chicken of the trees dumbass.
I got Trogdor from my lil brother's retarted science teacher, who was neglecting it and letting the moronic kids in his class terrorize the poor thing. Two days after we got him/her (i dunno) we had to take him to the vet because he had some bone disease and had fractures in his leg. Trogdor had to get a cast on his leg for a month and a half. Now he's a happy, vicious iguana, getting fat off of collard green and spinach. As you can see, my home is like an animal rescue shelter, we take in animals whose owners neglect them, or don't want them anymore. I found out a month after Trogdor's leg healed that the other iguana in my lil brother's science class died. =( At least I was able to save Trogdor.
The holey dumbass.
I punched a few holes in my body. For my birthday I took my left over financial aid cash and got my nose and tongue pierced.... and you ask why? Because I felt like it, beeyotch. Both didn't hurt at all for those that are curious... or maybe I just have a high tolerance to pain.... Anyhoo.. my tongue actually had swollen up a little, but nothing a little ice didnt fix. =D~ It's kinda funny, because I thought of getting extra holes in my ears but I'm too scared to do it... I'm afraid it'll hurt a lot, but I have no problem piercing anything else.... (....................) I'm going for my next set of holes once my 2004 financial aid check comes in the mail! Yay!
The dumbass with TWO doggies.
Yes, and then I got Kiwi, the mini-me teacup version of Yummy. A fearless little nipper, with teeth as sharp as needles. Yummy is scared shitless of her, and I think he has good reason to be. Kiwi is a big bully despite her 2 lb. status. Little dog, huuuge personality and a big pain in the ass. But she's soo damn cute. =D
Today's dumbass.
Me today. A happy girl in her soon to be second year of college. I miss my curls, but I think I love my straight hair more. I used to want to be an artist, but four years in Art and Design changed that.. lol Right now I want to major in psychology and I want to have as many body piercings as I can. I can also see many tattoos in my near future... as long as the financial aid keeps on coming in... hahahaha....
So far life is heading in a great direction for me. But I still wonder how my life is going to turn out... It's that uncertain dark void that's always in the back of every college student's mind.... What will I be like when I get older? Will I really be as successful as I hope? Marriage? Divorce? Kids? (god I hope not)
I see my grandmother, struggling to live in her old age.... and I imagine myself at 60......
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~!!! OH GOD NO~!!
NOOO!!!
NOOOOOO!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*muahz*
♥
